Many of my students tend to think that self-criticism is helpful.
However, I believe we, language learners, thrive and achieve in spite of self-criticism, not because of it. I know, there are buckets of controversy in the above statement. Needless to say, it is vital to be able to tolerate feedback and think critically. Here’s where the catch is buried though. At some point, with many people (me included), “thinking critically” spirals into devaluing self-criticism.
I noticed a split in students when their self-criticism kicks in. They either feel defensive and hurt or lose all resilience and become self-deprecating. 🫣Don’t know about you, but I’m guilty as charged and can recognize myself in both reactions.
Is there a sweet spot we can hit to jolt out of those toxic scenarios?
The answer is yes. We must be able to evaluate ourselves without attaching failure or guilt to the areas that still grow, be it accuracy, fluency or any other aspect of language learning. So, where does self-criticism come from?
1. If I criticize myself, I’ll work harder and do better. My criticism will keep me in line and stop me from becoming a failure.
2. If other people poke holes in my performance, it won’t hurt as much because I’ve already criticized myself.
3. My teacher will see I’m already hard on myself, so they’ll hold back on adding to the criticism.
4. Other people will think I am prideful or arrogant, so I’d better show that I don't take myself seriously.
5. I’m fearful of getting self-indulgent.
🩹And here is my self-criticism first aid kit:
1. Understand that the origin of self-criticism is rooted in some form of self protection.
2. Develop curiosity and compassion for the “inner critic”.
3. Try to unearth the feeling that may be behind self-criticism. It can be fear, insecurity, or even anger.
4. Pay attention to how I talk to myself. While my knee-jerk response can be harsh, I balance it off with a more compassionate one.
5. Challenge my critical self-talk. “ The way I spoke in class wasn’t dumb. I used a few new expressions and some of my ideas resonated with other students”.
6. Address perfection tendencies. Build up tolerance for making mistakes.
7. Practice vulnerability with the safe people in my life. Talk about the parts I criticize.
8. Create a more balanced view of myself. “ That wasn’t my best class: I was underprepared for the second half of it. That said, I know I am an overall consistent teacher.”
However, I believe we, language learners, thrive and achieve in spite of self-criticism, not because of it. I know, there are buckets of controversy in the above statement. Needless to say, it is vital to be able to tolerate feedback and think critically. Here’s where the catch is buried though. At some point, with many people (me included), “thinking critically” spirals into devaluing self-criticism.
I noticed a split in students when their self-criticism kicks in. They either feel defensive and hurt or lose all resilience and become self-deprecating. 🫣Don’t know about you, but I’m guilty as charged and can recognize myself in both reactions.
Is there a sweet spot we can hit to jolt out of those toxic scenarios?
The answer is yes. We must be able to evaluate ourselves without attaching failure or guilt to the areas that still grow, be it accuracy, fluency or any other aspect of language learning. So, where does self-criticism come from?
1. If I criticize myself, I’ll work harder and do better. My criticism will keep me in line and stop me from becoming a failure.
2. If other people poke holes in my performance, it won’t hurt as much because I’ve already criticized myself.
3. My teacher will see I’m already hard on myself, so they’ll hold back on adding to the criticism.
4. Other people will think I am prideful or arrogant, so I’d better show that I don't take myself seriously.
5. I’m fearful of getting self-indulgent.
🩹And here is my self-criticism first aid kit:
1. Understand that the origin of self-criticism is rooted in some form of self protection.
2. Develop curiosity and compassion for the “inner critic”.
3. Try to unearth the feeling that may be behind self-criticism. It can be fear, insecurity, or even anger.
4. Pay attention to how I talk to myself. While my knee-jerk response can be harsh, I balance it off with a more compassionate one.
5. Challenge my critical self-talk. “ The way I spoke in class wasn’t dumb. I used a few new expressions and some of my ideas resonated with other students”.
6. Address perfection tendencies. Build up tolerance for making mistakes.
7. Practice vulnerability with the safe people in my life. Talk about the parts I criticize.
8. Create a more balanced view of myself. “ That wasn’t my best class: I was underprepared for the second half of it. That said, I know I am an overall consistent teacher.”
